FREE BLOOD IN NORWAY!
This was our first trek into the Nether Regions of Scandinavia, and we entered into it with the true spirit of American pioneership. We knew we would be entering a realm where the name “Free Blood” held no cultural currency and the words “American dollar” held no monetary currency, so we kept our heads down, noses clean and pennies firmly pinched. Norway is one of the few non-Euro entities and their Kroner is apparently as pungent and strong as a sardine breakfast platter (more on that later). I had trouble with the quick conversions in my head I was doing every time I went to pay for something. It wasn’t as simple as just doubling the amount or moving the decimal point over. It was like dividing by five then calculating 12% and then reversing the first and last digit…or something. Shit, I think I got ripped off on those fish oil pills…
At any rate, we were being well tended to by the Ekko Festival, who had invited us to play along with such familiars as Black Dice, Planningtorock and The Norwegian Fergie. We were met by our artist contact, a pleasant fellow named Leonard, who met us in the hotel lobby upon our arrival in the beautiful seaside town of Bergen. After we had slept off the disturbingly long flight (with a layover in Amsterdam where normal-looking, non-gutterpunk people drink lager for breakfast), Leonard came and fetched us for the dj gig that night his collective We Are Borg were putting on, as an unofficial pre-fest afterparty for volunteers working at Ekko. We ended up playing disco, funk and weirdness for almost four hours to a bar of appreciative, yet conspicuously-seated lager-sippers. Songs that got favorable feedback were Chaz Jankel “Get Yourself Together”, Patti Jo “Make Me Believe In You”, and of course George McRae “I Get Lifted”. Since Norway is very strict about where and when it serves beer, wine and liquor (it’s complicated), I only had two glasses of wine. As I was polishing off the second one (as the final song ran out), I felt a seventh wind in the works. It was jet lag fucking with me! With no afterafterparties around to fuel this wind, we adjourned to the hotel, where three pages of Dreams From My Father later I was fast asleep.
The next day, we both slept hard into the afternoon. We walked around Bergen vaguely looking for brunch, but only found a fish market that also sold seal and reindeer pelts. Eventually we gave up and went to the hotel restaurant. By then it was time for sound check so Leonard came by and whisked us away just as we were getting down with a coffee refill. The festival was being held in a complex called a culture house, which is like an arts center with little bars sprinkled throughout. The place was a maze of rooms and miniature venues within venues that meant a lot of showing your pass to a smiling collegiate every time you walked through a door. We were playing on a small stage in the corner of the main stage room, which felt very open mic at the coffee shop…which is perfect for us, because it means more intimacy and less pomp. We went on at the very end of the night after The Norwegian Fergie had rocked the main stage. As folks silently filed out we sputtered to life, immediately springing off the stage and into a throbbing pile in the middle of the floor. For a festival of electronic and dance-related acts there had been very little movement on the part of both performers and audience (but maybe they were just getting warmed up). Most of the movement we inspired in people that night was girls clutching their purses and boys spilling their beers in an effort to avoid colliding with Free Blood. All told, people seemed to enjoy it. The guy who had confessed a personal revelation while listening to “Make Me Believe In You” the night before, gave us kudos afterwards. Very book.
Back at the hotel, we were both feeling our fourteenth wind and tried to enlist Planningtorock (who regretfully told us the next morning she had dozed off fully clothed before she could make it to our room party). Failing this we enlisted room service (Norwegian kroner be damned!), who regretfully told us he was the only one manning the front desk and couldn’t get away to make us salami sandwiches, but perhaps we would be willing to come down to the restaurant, where we could help ourselves to the extra-early breakfast buffet free of charge…Five seconds later we were in the restaurant with our whiskey goggles on, gasping at the massive fish-themed spread (as mentioned earlier). All kinds of sardines, herring, kippers, pates, chutneys, mustards, and strange mixtures of all of the above crowded the length of the table. We went to town. Madeline was really into the meat paste (like the fanciest spam ever) while I preyed on the various pickled items. This was probably the most decadent moment of the trip. The next morning I had something like a fish hangover, but a dollop of coffee put me right. We bid Bergen “tak” and headed to the airport for our Oslo gig that night.
Once we landed in Oslo, we carted our cumbersome equipment case onto the train which took us to Central Station, where we were met by our Oslo contact Einar. He walked us over our hotel room, and we napped briefly before sound check (Free Blood likes to nap, so you’ll be reading a lot of exhaustive documentation of our intricate napping schedule). The venue was in a building that housed what seemed like multiple bars, clubs and private party hovels. Food vendors set up in the alleyways flanking the building, and a giant (GIANT) chandelier hung outside over the entrance. We played to a small but (again) appreciative audience who listened intently and put down their lager to clap for us (which is significant, trust me). A gaggle of been-drinking-since-breakfast (probably Dutch) kids romped with us by the edge of the stage, but kept running back to the bar for more drinks before we could fully seduce them. We came off stage, happy and wet. The aftershow dj immediately cranked up to blistering volume, making us feel like a bucket-and-string band. Ah, the magic of Serrato! That night Madeline adjourned to the hotel early, while John hung out with Einar and Tuli (sp?) listening to early 2000 hip-hop played at ear-splitting decibels. Reminded me of my stint at Boogaloo Bar playing Mystikal and Trick Daddy for cokeheads. I returned to the hotel on foot (after getting lost and put on the right track by a Nepalese man studying in Oslo), listening to the spectrum of frequencies ringing in my ear (maybe due to a combination of Serrato and left-handed cigarettes).
The next morning, we caught a plane back to NYC without the aid of personal viewing screens (what is this? 1995?). I slept like a whole cabin of logs. Madeline forced her way through Atonement (the in-flight movie) between bouts of The Omnivore’s Dilemma (the book). Back in America, we were confused as to what time zone we were operating in. By the time we figure it out, we’ll be flying to Japan! See you next time!